new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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