you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize