therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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