what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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