At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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