I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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