He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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