she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize