The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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