I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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