VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
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i drank out of a bidet.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
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It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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