just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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