I looked at my own cervix.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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