i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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