i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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