alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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