Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize