Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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