I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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