this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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