Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Someone shit on the floor
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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