dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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