I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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