Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize