I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize