Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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