It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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