i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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