she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
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I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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