The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to calm my uterus...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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