idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
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She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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