im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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