I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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