The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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