PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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