I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
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They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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