Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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