just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize