everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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