Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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