my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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