in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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