When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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