Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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