The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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