it wasn't lemon gatorade
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think i got beer on your cat.
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