when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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