Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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