There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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