I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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